Admit it. You dread reading or watching the news, avoid discussing politics with most people, and will do almost anything to escape conversation on any topic with some people. If not, you are probably one of those folks everyone else is avoiding.
It seems nearly everyone is either angry, upset, incredulous, or disengaged. Some are all of these, and more. Institutions to which we traditionally turn seem to be weakening, if not crumbling. Life has become satire, as if we were Yossarian living out the book Catch 22 every day. I’ve got to stop saying “You can’t make this stuff up”, because I’ve been saying it nearly constantly for quite a while, and it’s getting old.
What The Problem Is Not
Oddly, it occurs to me that the problem is not that everyone is acting in their own interest. First, as human beings, it seems to me, we have little choice. Self preservation is in our nature. Second, and getting closer to the point, doing well puts us in position to do more good. There’s a reason why the airlines tell us to get our own oxygen masks on before helping others in an emergency.
No, the problem is not people acting in their self interest. It’s just that we are so often wrong about what is in our best interest – and increasingly so – with consequences that range from frustrating to tragic to catastrophic.
It’s closer to the truth, actually, that what’s wrong with us is that we are NOT acting in our true best interests as human beings, when behaving badly, whether acting alone or in groups.
Individually
We make these mistakes as individuals in countless roles in various settings. Among them are as citizens, workers, neighbors, family members, lovers, friends, leaders, officials, public figures, thinkers, artists, writers, and other creators.
We err in big decisions and in small; in private or on the world’s stage; often or once in a while.
Collectively
One would hope that collective wisdom would help us get it right when it comes to discerning our true best interests. Herd mentality often sends the stampede in the wrong direction, though. Such mistakes are made, again, in any number of settings, as within neighborhoods, towns, counties, states, and countries; professions and occupations; religions; races and ethnicities; genders; clubs and associations; socioeconomic groups; and political parties.
Recurring Mistakes
So, what are we talking about here? What “mistakes”? What are we wrong about? There is no point pretending that the list is short, if we were to get into all the nutty stuff we human beings do, but there are some real killers worth exploring, as we will in future posts. Among them are these:
The perceived need for Us versus Them (If you’re not just like me, you must be inferior; the need for enemies.)
Regarding all interactions and relationships as zero-sum games (Since the good in the world is finite, you must do poorly for me to do well.)
Racism and other systematized, irrational hatreds (That it’s morally wrong is a given; the extent of the irrationality involved is staggering.)
Not dealing with people or issues on the merits (Making decisions on the merits requires hard work; alas, we are often lazy, at least.)
Where We Are
I have lost count of the number of people who have told me stories about incidents that have happened to them or someone they know that go something like this: “I can’t (be your friend, talk to you, work with you, etc.) if you (believe in, voted for, like, etc.) (fill in a the name of a person, an attitude, a belief, etc.).” While we’re busy creating the largest possible divides between us with name-calling, insults and the recitation of brainless slogans, genuinely and significantly bad stuff is happening in our communities, our country and our world. Raise your hand if you think any of this is in our best interest. I thought so.
But, enough about the Congress and the White House.
You don’t have to be a cynic or even a skeptic to notice that the unacceptable has become the expected. That is the biggest mistake of all, and we’re all complicit in this one. It’s time to call out the unacceptable for what it is and behave accordingly. Like Yossarian, I hate stewed tomatoes (my favorite line in the book).
Ken Bossong
© 2019 Kenneth J. Bossong