It’s those people; you know, Them. They’re the problem.
Something said as often as this – indeed, sometimes simply assumed without saying – is worth examining. Of course, we’re really motivated to think about it when the speaker is pointing a finger in our faces and saying “It’s you people. You’re the problem.”
It’s Us versus Them. While divisiveness is becoming our national pastime, it’s nothing new. Worse, perhaps, but not new. We seek to be part of an Us, and there must be a Them for there to be an Us. It’s less fun on the receiving end, being one of Them.
Collaboration
Let’s start with what the issue is not: collaboration. Human beings combine efforts to accomplish things, including survival. Whether a team, a community, a movement in the arts, a profession, or any number of other undertakings, being a contributing part of something greater than oneself can be a highlight of one’s life.
Obviously, there is nothing wrong with like-minded individuals gathering to pursue common interests (unless there is something wrong with those common interests, of course). Indeed, it’s how things get done and, every now and then, how greatness is achieved.
It does not have to be the ’27 Yankees or John Coltrane’s Classic Quartet for greatness to be within reach, either. We recognize the kind of Us we admire in a community group raising enough money for a child to receive necessary treatment, a team of fire fighters saving lives, or a staff keeping a business afloat despite adverse circumstances through hard work and skill.
Competition
As a fan of all the major sports, and not just at the professional level (high school basketball is one of the great entertainment bargains anywhere), I’m not the one to decry competition. Healthy, spirited competition pushes participants to greater heights. And, in general, no one better appreciates the effort it takes to strive to be the best than the similarly motivated opponent. Fans are sometimes surprised when intense rivals end up friends, but they needn’t be.
Urban blues reached some of its highest heights in the Blues clubs of ’50s and ’60s Chicago. A bit of Social Darwinism was involved on so-called Blue Monday; bands competed onstage Monday night, and the fans present decided who played there the rest of the week. The losers had to scramble for work, but the brilliance honed by the best of the best made for essential listening in its own right, and inspired rock ‘n’ roll and its “British invasion”.
One of the pillars of capitalism is the idea that competition in the marketplace tends to improve the quality, quantity and price of goods and services, to society’s general benefit. While recognizing it is not perfect, I support our system, but note with chagrin that an area of law called Antitrust is fading away. You may have heard of it. Younger readers, ask your parents or check it out; it’s fascinating.
The problem with Us vs. Them is not in the “versus”, as such.
Where the Problems Lie
Real problems arise in how and why we form the Us and, especially, how the members of each Us regard the Them.
Who is Us and how we form the Us
Consider the sheer number of the kinds of Us each person represents. Within any given conversation, it may be easy to say which group is Us and which is Them. The categories that provide an Us to belong to, however, are limitless, including one’s: ethnic background, religion, race, gender, family, political party, neighborhood, marital status, health, profession, socioeconomic class, education, personality traits, body habitus, lifestyle, and tastes and preferences in just about anything. Any difference will do.
As mentioned above, every Us needs a Them, and all these categories in which we differ are available.
How an Us regards a Them
A critically harmful error often occurs in how the members of an Us regard the Them. Follow the “reasoning” here:
(a) Something must distinguish Us from Them; there is a difference.
(b) If we’re not the same, one must be superior, and that’s gotta be Us.
(c) If we’re not the same, one must be inferior, and that’s gotta be Them.
(d) So, of course, those people are the problem; them. They’re inferior. What do you expect?
In the extreme cases, where humanity runs completely off the rails, it gets worse and goes like this: “They are so inferior, they are barely human…As a matter of a fact, they are not fully human.”
This is no stretch when one contemplates:
(a) the sickeningly effective representation, in the movie Cabaret, of Germany’s descent into evil madness when it became “entertaining” under the Nazis to depict Jews as apes; or
(b) the existence of slavery while the words “We hold these Truths to be self-evident, that all Men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty, and the Pursuit of Happiness….” were written.
Why we form the Us – and the Them
Even in the less extreme cases, why do we seem to need a Them? Are we so insecure in our self-worth that we need someone, anyone, to feel superior to? (“At least we’re not [_______]!”) Do we need someone to dislike, or blame, or even hate?
There are also economic incentives for devaluing others. It escapes me why, but somehow it is considered more palatable to steal from “inferior” beings. What, they deserve it? Maybe it’s just easier.
Science Fiction and Other Thoughts
Here is an exercise I find helpful: Consider as many individuals as is manageable – those on your block, in your town, in your state, in the country, or in the world. From the dozens to the billions of people, each complex, multi-faceted human being is a bundle of beliefs, experiences and aspirations and a member of any number and kind of Usses. Very few are members of exactly the same Us. (Indeed, it may not be possible.) Again, every Us has a Them, and there is a dizzying array of each.
The dizzying array
To state the obvious, all members of every Them we identify consider themselves an Us superior to our Them.
Everyone is a member of countless Usses and Thems. Which of these categorical differences really matter? It is intriguing how many science fiction books and movies are built on the following premise: The one thing that would bring human beings together is having hostile aliens as a common enemy. Those [_________] people aren’t so bad if we need ’em to have a shot at defeating invading Martians. I suspect the theme endures from The Day the Earth Stood Still to Independence Day and so on, because we recognize some rueful truth in it.
There’s another complication. Many people are going to be part of not only the Thems we must oppose for some categories, but also in at least one Us in which we must get along and work together. So, it is possible to collaborate with some of those people. Kind of. But if she’s one of Them, how can she be one of Us? Who’s keeping score?
Furthermore, if each member of every Us and Them knows their group is superior, who is correct? How can we tell? Who decides? Actually, the answers are easy: each of us decides. Our perspective is the correct one. Our group is not only right, but more worthwhile as well. The one trait universally shared, apparently, is hubris. As something to build on, this does not seem promising.
Pause
Amid celebration of our obvious superiority, a pause for some introspection might be in order. I’ve noticed, for example, that I am wrong sometimes. It’s a shocking revelation, I know, but I make mistakes. Perfection completely, persistently, and maddeningly eludes me. Maybe if you are different than I, you can help me muddle through. And vice versa. Just saying.
How’s that perceived need for Us vs. Them been working out for us all, anyway? From centuries past right up to the present, a tragic combination of economic incentive and the need to assert superiority has fostered war, tribalism, pogroms, and humanitarian crises. Conflict is inevitable, I suppose, and even some wars must be fought (e.g. the Allies in WW II), but who needs Us vs. Them as an approach to life’s interactions? It’s wrong. It’s destructive. It’s lunacy.
OK….So? The Merits Beckon
Is the point that nothing is ever better than anything else? Of course not. Some ideas are nutty; some are brilliant. Is there right and wrong? Of course. Honesty is right; lying and stealing are wrong – and we know it.
We also know what distinguishes the quest for excellence from the arrogant and mistaken assumption of categorical superiority: the merits. One of the most striking parts of Rev. Martin Luther King, Jr.’s Dream is for his children – that they one day “live in a nation where they will not be judged by the color of their skin but by the content of their character.” This is one of history’s greatest speeches not only for its eloquence and its aspirations, but also for its wisdom.
Time To Move On
So, it should not be Us vs. Them, after all. Let’s move on, even as we continue to strive for excellence in all endeavors, alone or in groups. If the need to be “the best” (or first, or whatever) motivates someone to cure cancer, great. We cannot find our self-worth in the denigration of others, however; quite the contrary. As we look elsewhere, we can make ourselves and our groups the best we can be. We can enjoy our rivalries, and play the Super Bowl, the stock market, or a game of Yahtzee, to win.
No, it’s not “Us vs. Them”.
It is “We”. You know, “the People”. Why do We, the People, need to await the arrival of aliens to finally get it right? It’s time to catch up to the wisdom of our cherished rhetoric.
Ken Bossong
© 2019 Kenneth J. Bossong